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ThE M.Y.S.T.E.R.O.N ReVoLuTiOn

Our Enemies
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Here is a list and description of people who we consider to be our enemies. Remember them, and keep a good eye out for them, they could be anywhere and anyone. If you fit one of these descriptions then please contact us with you name, address and prefered method of dying. And where you keep valuable items worth something on eBay.

The Cylons

Our Number one enemies are the Cylons. They are a deadly race of mogs (man dogs) from the planet Cylo IV who are hell bent on taking over this planet before we do. No one knows what they look like except for Republicans who are the Cylons allies. In return for helping them take over the planet, the cylons have offered the Republicans Wales and Ireland. Well someone's got to have them. This is one of the reasons why Republican presidents are dangerous. Geroge Bush - Iraq, George Bush 2 - Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran. Soon it will be France and mainland Europe then maybe the UK. Then there will be no stopping them.


Busted/McFly

These may seem like innocent boybands playing incredibly crap music but they are not. They are alien robots from Venus playing incredibly crap music to try and turn the population of Earth into insane idiots. You may be asking where is the proof mighty leader. Well here it is. In McFly's "song" Saturday Nite, they sing "We want the neighbours to complain/Cos our music's drivin them insane". The neighbours are us, because these alien robots are from Venus and we are their neighbours. Also evidence of them turning people's brain into mush is from their leigons of female fans who actually like them (it must be their inferior brains compared to males). So far Busted haven't revealed their intentions through their lyrics but i am watching them like a tiger watches a lame antelope that got shot by a poacher or something.


MTV

MTV is a "popular music" station that tries so hard to be cool. The truth is they are controlled by the Cylons in an attempt to take over the world by filling our heads with crap music so when the Big Battle against them comes, our brains will be full of crap like Avril Lavigne, Busted, McFly (see above), 50 Cent, Eminem, Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears and various others. They are all considered enemies of the M.Y.S.T.E.R.O.Ns. So when the revolution comes up, they will be first in the Forced Euthanasia Clinic.


Pikies (known as "Rudeboys")

This is pretty obvious, from their general appeareance to their way of life, everyone hates pikies. However, there is another reason why they are considered enemies of the M.Y.S .T.E.R.O.Ns. This is because they are really Cylon agents who have infiltrated our society to try and destroy it from within. The "slang" they use is actually Cylonian code. Phrases like "proper safe man innit" and "bang them" means "tango at four'o'clock" and "take him/her hostage". They use it to confuse innocent earth people while they mug them to fund their plans for world domination. The oversized sportswear is also to hide their many weapons and recording devices. The burberry baseball caps at right angles to their heads are signals to other Cylons to identify themselves.


Nazis/neo-nazis etc.

We are far-left, they are far right.Geddit?


Vegetarians

Adolf Hitler and Charles Mason are vegetarians (Adolf Hitler is still a vegetarian because he is still alive). Vegetarians are generally evil people. A plant is a poor and defenceless creature, it can't speak or scream or run away, yet vegetarians insist that we murder them. Its like raping a gagged woman. Its totally unfair. Any decent human being wouldn't kill and eat an innocent and defenceless organism, yet vegetarians do. They say that chickens are innocent creatures and how would we like it if we were killed and served with chips. I say to them, what about when chickens drag worms out of their homes and peck them to death, how would the vegetarians like that? Also by eating animals like pigs and not eating plants, we are reducing the amount of methane released into the air and increasing the chances of plants reproducing and providing us with more oxygen. Another point for all those religious people is that Eve ate a fruit and this caused God to banish man to the wasteland. Yet if she ate the damn snake then everything would be rosy and we would be living happily every after.

Tramps (bums)

Tramps are masked cylons with a serious liking to 9% trampain 6% meths which IS the right chemical balance to keep them in this tramp like state which is very convincing to humans thus blending perfectly in to there lair ie church grounds parks and verges and cardboard boxes (in london) these tramp cylons usually found with a cylon agent/supervisor in dog form asking for funds...beware of these people as they are raising funds for world domination.


Evil Nazi Lesbian Librarians

These people are quiet bad. During the final years of the Nazi regieme, Hitler saw that something had to be done to preserve the Nazi ideas as he was losing the war. So he ordered some of his scientists to create a geneticaly modified being that would do that. So the scientists took some of Hitler's genes and fused it with that of a librarians and pure evil to maintain Nazism. They added lesbian genes because they were a bit pervy as well. In 1944, the first was created. She was ugly as hell. In fact when she first came out of the womb, the doctors offered to kill it for free. Since then, Nazi Lesbian librarians, armed with all the knowledge of Nazism have been roaming the earth and laying pods from where other Nazi librarians grow. So far there are 19783 know Nazi librarians including 1 operating in a school in Spencers Wood. Below is an artists impression of one.

librarian.gif


The motherland will rise again.